In August of 2024 and February 2025, I asked ChatGPT for 10 legal jokes. It’s a semi-annual tradition. This time I switched it up and asked Gemini. Ali Wong‘s got nothing to worry about.
- A man walks into a lawyer’s office and says, “I want to sue you.” The lawyer replies, “On what grounds?” The man says, “I’ve been told you’re the worst lawyer in town.”
- Why did the lawyer break up with the ghost? He just didn’t see a future in the relationship.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A vampire only sucks blood at night.
- How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder, and one to sue the ladder company.
- Why are lawyers not allowed to go scuba diving? They leave too many air bubbles in the water from all the hot air they’re full of.
- A man asks his friend, “How’s your lawyer?” The friend says, “He’s great! He got me off on a technicality.” The man asks, “What was the technicality?” The friend replies, “He proved I’m not a man.”
- What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 160? A genius. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 80? A judge.
- A lawyer’s son asks his father, “Dad, what’s a ‘pro bono’?” The father says, “It’s when we do something for free.” The son says, “Wow, you must be a really nice person!” The father says, “No, son, it’s just a way to make us look good.”
- What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a sumo wrestler? Someone who can’t win a case without a lot of weight behind him.
- A lawyer dies and goes to hell. He’s surprised to find it’s a big, beautiful mansion with a swimming pool and a golf course. He says to the devil, “I thought hell was supposed to be a place of fire and torment.” The devil says, “It is, but this is the lawyers-only section.”
Hmmm…