humor

Should Thanksgiving be Abolished? A Legal Analysis

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SUMMARY This legal analysis examines whether Thanksgiving could be banned in the U.S. Arguments for prohibition include Establishment Clause violations via presidential turkey pardons, Commerce Clause issues from nationwide traffic disruptions and Eighth Amendment concerns about forced family gatherings. Defenses cite First Amendment assembly rights, pursuit of happiness principles and Ninth Amendment protections for unenumerated … Read more

Should Halloween Be Outlawed? A Legal Analysis

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SUMMARY This “light-hearted” legal analysis explores whether Halloween should be banned. Arguments against include safety concerns, property rights violations, liability issues and health risks. Arguments for keeping it legal cite First Amendment protections, community building, cultural tradition, parental rights and proportionality. Existing regulations address concerns without banning the holiday. Conclusion: Halloween would easily survive constitutional … Read more

Limerick: Shhh

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• A profusion of classified documents was found • • In Uncle Joe’s house and The Donald’s compound • • Forty Five had the gall • • And Forty Six played ball • • Boy, there sure are a lot of top secrets floating around •

Limerick: George Santos

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There was a young man called George SantosWhose life was a series of scant hopesThought he, “nothing can beatA congressional seat”So he lied and he lied, and he lied and he lied, and he lied and he lied, to the utmost

Limerick: FTX

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An elderly lady with old money and new / Invested her wealth with the FTX crew / They bungled and stole / Left her deep in a hole / And now the old woman, she lives in a shoe / More on digital assets.